You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
