if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize