he wants to bone in the snuggie
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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