He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
