it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
