how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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