with your own penis?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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