As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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