I hope mine doesn't look like that
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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