there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dicks are not precious.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
