I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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