PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
