Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
