If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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