there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
