I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she told me i tasted like america
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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