On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
operation harelip BJ is a go
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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