matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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