Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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