If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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