where am i from again
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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