Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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