He is an equal opportunity slut.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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