Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
