I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just tell him i said nine months
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
