You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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