like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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