i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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