I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
