My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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