He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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