the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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