Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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