i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
