I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
