now i know why i became what i already was.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
