What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You did what with his pubic hair?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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