I am puke
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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