i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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