You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
