I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
