you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
