I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
