hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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