I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
