Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
