paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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