made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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