Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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