O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
