I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
