i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
