True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
