dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize