Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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