Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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