after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
