This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
