i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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