Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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