if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
