We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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