Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
