i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
