i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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