So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
