I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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