On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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