At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Four minutes until I can fart!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
